Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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