There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you traded sex for a burrito?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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