I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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