no, he came in my armpit
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
