hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
