people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
