Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
