my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize