my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
