Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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