I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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