And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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