I want to stick my p in your. b.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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