god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
