eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
