hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
