i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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