i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
