You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
