i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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