You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
