Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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