I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
