i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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