I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
