I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
