She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
