you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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