I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize