Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
