Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
