I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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