I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
