i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
