i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
