but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
