So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
