i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
