I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
