The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you made out with another girl for some wings
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
