It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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