He is an equal opportunity slut.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
