There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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