On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
