No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
