do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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