we have officially lost it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you traded sex for a burrito?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize