big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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