i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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