She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
smell my finger.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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