some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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