Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
