Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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