Im at strip club and am horny
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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