Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
