My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize