I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize