writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
