Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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