Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
