Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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